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G.I. Joe: Retaliation/Rated PG-13 for violence, martial arts and some kissing but not at the same time

GIJR is a sequel to G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra from 2009.  In the 2009 film the crew traveled from the Arctic to Japan and other places to add authenticity.  Like Olympus Has Fallen (reviewed last week), GIJR decided to skip the authenticity and shoot the entire film in Louisiana and computer-generate in anything that looked different than Louisiana.

Also, they brought back at least one character killed off in the first film, since he was needed in the new film for plot purposes.  The only G.I. Joe actor to return however, was actor Tatum Channing.  I can’t tell you what happens to him but a clue might be found in the film’s title.

This time out, Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, steps in to add muscle and wrestling moves.  Bruce Willis is added late in the film to add a sense that senior citizens can still mow down villains as good as the young and inexperienced.  The G.I. Joe series is based on toys created by Hasbro.  I own at least five of these toys but I don’t take them out of the box all that often anymore.  The plot for the films can be found on the back of any of the toy boxes.


This time the story is based on the need for a few remaining GI Joes to retaliate after the betrayal and slaughter of their fellow Joes.  They must also root out a conspiracy to spring Cobra (the bad guy leader) to escape from the fish bowl he is imprisoned in – 8,000 feet underground in Germany – so they can take over the world.  This sounds complicated.  It isn’t.  It involves shooting, explosions and martial arts fighting.

The main plot device is one we have seen a lot, starting way back in the James Bond film Diamonds are Forever (1971).  There is not much more to the story other than to keep everything moving by staging big-time action sequences augmented by very expensive looking computer generated effects.  Lots of Kung Fu fighting is necessary to allow the GI Joes action figures to be fully represented on screen.

Let’s face it.  G.I. Joe action figures are basically Barbie Dolls for boys.  The G.I. Joe films are an answer to any American Girl Doll based films, like the Abigail Breslin film Kit Kittredge: An American Girl (2008).  I am looking forward a film that combines the two toy ideas into one movie.  I will check the back of the box holding my American Girl dolly for plot ideas.

Rated 2.8 out of 4.0 reasons I am hoping they work My Little Pony into the story.  Pinkie Pie is my favorite.


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