The Silicon Valley Voice

Power To Your Voice

The Watch / Rated R for gross and consistently bad language, nudity, sex, violence, a horrible script, bad acting, worse directing and a total lack of humor.

Other than the minor items listed above I liked it. Just like I enjoy prickly heat rash and deeply ingrown toenails. What is wrong with these actors? At least three of the main stars, including Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill, should be able to better choose their projects. If they picked The Watch they couldn’t have read the script or had prior knowledge of what this film was about.

If you have seen the preview you are probably a little confused. It looks like a buddy film where the boys team up to defend the neighborhood against crime. They end up fighting aliens and blowing up cows with super weapons. Does any of it seem to make any sense? No. Does it look funny? Not even remotely. The previews carefully cover up the gross language in the script, the pervasive sex scenes and the juvenile plotting. The reason they are covering up these things is because they want to make money. And no doubt they realize that if people find out the true nature of this film ahead of time, they won’t make any money.

The main blame has to lie with the writers. Three are credited. The first is Jared Stern. His prior credits include (get this) Mr. Poppers Penguins, as well as the Disney films The Princess and the Frog and Bolt. Also guilty with the ink are Seth Rogen, best known as an actor, whose credits include the terrific Green Hornet. The third on the screenplay credit is Evan Goldberg who is a cohort of Seth R. Besides the Green Hornet he has worked on The Simpsons and the recent ice hockey film flop Goon.

SPONSORED

Now you know. When these three team up to pen a screenplay and bring it to the screen, check with me first. If you think I’m wrong, go see The Watch. And remember I told you to watch out.

Rated 1.0 out of 4.0 reasons The Green Hornet this ain’t. The Goon maybe. WARNING do not take children below 16 to this film. Only take children over 16 if you really must. Be prepared to be red-faced with embarrassment.

SPONSORED
business_subscriber

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

SPONSORED

You may like