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Cowboys and Aliens / Rated PG-13 for violence, brief partial nudity and ugly talking by the Cowboys.

In order to add a authentic atmosphere, CandA was filmed in New Mexico and at Randsburg, CA. The population of Randsburg, all 69 of them as of 2010 (down 8 from the 2000 census), must have been thrilled. Other locations include Abiquiu and Santa Fe, New Mexico where the folks are used to movie companies showing up on a regular basis. This time out they also get illegal aliens.

The aliens don’t show up to do any gardening. Not this time. They have other plans. Since they are advanced and the earthlings are not, they have decided to take people into the mother ship to do experiments and, get this, steal our gold. They apparently have foreseen that gold would go from about a dollar an ounce to over a thousand dollars an ounce by the time they return. This makes the cowboys really mad. And the local Indians are a little upset too.

Daniel Craig, the latest James Bond, and Harrison Ford lead the posse. The supporting actors are all fine. What is not fine is the lame script. This is like a B Sci Fi Monster movie of the 50s except that the special EFX are better and it’s shot in color. Everything in the first half of the story leads to an inevitable and totally predictable result in the second half. Which they could have skipped. It’s not good when the cleverest part of a film is its title.

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I, myself, was once taken into an alien mother ship. It was the summer of 1980 and I had just finished a respectable 56th in a big time local Checkers tournament. The aliens were very upset. They had been monitoring our habits and watching our TV shows. They had to return to their home planet but were left with that cliff-hanging question; “who shot J.R.?” They would only let me go if I could answer that question before they departed the earth and next season’s 1st episode of Dallas aired. They had to know. Unless I could tell them they would return to Earth and destroy all life. I made a guess which turned out to be the right one. This is why you are alive today and able to read this review. They did return once, a few years back, to issue one more warning. They came to me in a dream in the personage of Soupy Sales. In this dream they told me they would leave one alien here to keep an eye on our shenanigans. This is why Lady Gaga walks among us.

After sitting through Cowboys and Aliens I believe they also found a way to pay us back for our devious ways. This is it.

Rated 2.1 out of 4.0 reasons to Watch the Skies. Or better yet, watch Watch the Skies (2005). Then you will know all about the 50’s Sci Fi Monster movies.

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