As someone said, it’s better to give than to receive. To honor that principle, we at the Weekly have assembled a the creme de la creme of gifts that give so much, recipients will beg to be taken off your list.
For fans of master of the sci-fi macabre, H.P. Lovecraft, the Lovecraft Historical Society’s (store.cthulhulives.org) Cyclopean Holiday Combo delivers a horror holiday-in-a-box. In addition to a slime-green ornament featuring Lovecraft’s reptilian and tentacledcosmic Prince of Darkness,Cthulu, the goodie box includes twoScary Solstice Carol collections, featuring: “What thing is this that laid to rest/On my doorstop is oozing,” “Away in a madhouse, confined to my bed/From visions and nightmares that filled me with dread,””A Cyclopean Tomb (down in deep R’lyeh)/where the god sleeps who’ll bring the earth to doom,” and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Yog Sothoth/In the ring of stones on Sent’nel Hill.”
Be warned kids: this is your brain on LSD. From the heart of schlocky darkness, the Oriental Trading Company, comes the Gnome Nativity; featuring the Holy Family, the Magi, a lone angel, and a mushroom manger for the infant Jesus. “They may be small, but even for them there’s ‘gnome’ room at the inn. This fun and fantastical depiction of the iconic religious scene is not to be missed.”
GQ step aside. Think Geek (www.thinkgeek.com) takes the Christmas sweater where no sweater has gone before – namely the business suit. One hundred percent polyester, the OppoSuits Party Suit is available in two seasonal patterns – Gangstaclaus and The Rudolph. Complete the Revenge-of–the-Nerds look with the Tesla wristwatch and its red flashing vacuum tubes. You’ll be the hit of the party – especially when you tell the story of Nichola Tesla’s romance with a pigeon.
We all know people who collect stuffed animals. Chances are they have an army of teddy bears, beanie babies, and plush toys all over the house, collecting dust mites. So give them Giant Microbes’ (giantmicrobes.com) cuddly plush dust mite. The collection includes nearly 150 microbes, infectious diseases and microscopic pests – including ticks, flesh-eating streptococcus, syphilis, athletes foot fungus and dengue fever.
While we’re on the microbial theme, Cafe Press (www.cafepress.com)offers unique holiday decor for the microbiologist: Bacterial Christmas tree ornaments. Choose from 1,200 different designs, including anthrax, E. coli, salmonella, Yersina pestis (bubonic plague) and dental plaque. Withdecorations like this, you won’t have to worry about guests overstaying their welcome.
Now that Vladimir Putin has turned back the clock to the Cold War, it’s time to restock the fallout shelter. Cafe PressRestricted Data Shop’s (www.cafepress.com/restricteddata) fallout map coffee mug helps you predict when fallout fromthe thermonuclear blastwill hit your town. While you’re waiting for the black rain, enjoy a hot toddy and watch the mug magically change color as the temperature rises.
Hold on to your hat! You’ll never again be the wallflower at holiday parties after donningRakuten’s (www.rakuten.com) drinking hat with siren and megaphone. Holds two cans of beer and features a megaphoneto alert your host when you need refills. Ring in the New Year with six hilarious sounds – police siren, dog barking, ringing doorbell, white noise, ringing phone, and car crash.